Marriage & Couples Track

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MARRIAGE & COUPLES TRACK

Offered on Friday and Saturday, presentations in this conference track are intended for both experienced therapists and students with an interest in how affect script psychology provides new insights into how relationships succeed, how they fail, and how to work therapeutically with troubled relationships.

Please scroll down for more details about the 4 presentations (eight hours total) offered in this track as well as a summary of the biographical information of each presenter.

VICK KELLY

Shame: Will it Save or Ruin Your Marriage?

Date of Presentation: Friday October 15th at 3:45 pm
Length of Presentation : 2 hour

Presentation Description: Shame is multifaceted. It is an unpleasant innate affect and emotion but it provides information vital to many aspects of our lives, especially our relationships. Lack of awareness of shame and its effects biases relationships toward unpleasantness and failure. Insight into the vital information shame provides about emotional connection with our significant others promotes strengthening of those relationships by maximizing the positive aspects and minimizing the negative aspects of that emotional connection.

In this purposefully interactive session based on his soon to be published book with the same title as this seminar, Dr. Kelly will discuss the many facets of shame's effect on relationships. You will come away with a clear understanding that shame is the most critical negative affect/emotion in relationships. You will learn how to recognize when shame is present; how destructive shame is when it is not recognized or acknowledged; and how to use the information provided by shame to strengthen the emotional connection with the most important people in your lives.

A Brief Bio of the Presenter: Vernon C. (Vick) Kelly, Jr., M.D. is a co-founder and the first Training Director of the Tomkins Institute. Working with Silvan S. Tomkins in the late 1980's, he developed the first cogent definition of emotional intimacy based on affect script psychology. After an eclectic training in child, family and adult psychiatry, he has worked with multiple generations of children, families, couples and individuals in private practice since 1975. He has lectured nationally and internationally on the basic tenets of affect script psychology, as well as its significance for understanding relationships and restorative justice practices. He is currently serving as Co-chairman of the Board of the Tomkins Institute and as a Director on the Board of Restorative Practices International.

DON CATHERALL

Emotional Safety in Couples I –
Applying the Lens of Affect

Date of Presentation: Saturday October 16th
at 10:15 am
Length of Presentation : 2 hour

Presentation Description: Partners in an intimate relationship are highly attuned to each other's affective display. When one partner broadcasts an affect, the other naturally resonates with it. The affective tone of the partners' communication is the central focus of the emotional safety model. Partners influence each other with their affective tone more than with their words, especially with messages regarding the relationship or the self of one of the partners (the realms of attachment and esteem). Emotional safety declines when a partner perceives a potential threat to either (a) the other partner's attachment or (b) the other partner's positive regard. Unfortunately, a partner's perception of threat can precipitate an equally threatening reaction, leading to the problematic, circular interactions long identified by systems theorists. This workshop will first examine some of the research on couples and couples therapy, then expand on the model and help participants utilize the lens of affect to better view emotional relationships.

DON CATHERALL

Emotional Safety in Couples II –
Intervening with Couples

Date of Presentation: Saturday October 16th
at 1:45 pm
Length of Presentation : 2 hour

Presentation Description: Couples therapy occurs in many versions-cognitive-behavioral, systemic, emotion-focused, psychodynamic, narrative, imago, integrative and more-but no approach succeeds unless the therapist makes the sessions emotionally safe. Effective therapies are safe enough that clients risk delving into their pain, exposing their vulnerabilities, and trying new behaviors. The emotional safety model seeks to extend that safety to the partners' relationship by helping them learn to eliminate threats in the realms of attachment and esteem. Therapists must help partners to (a) communicate respectfully, (b) help each other feel loved (a secure attachment), and (c) heal old injuries that continue to interfere with (a) and (b). This workshop will build further on the model and provide an overview for applying it with couples.

A Brief Bio of the Presenter: Don Catherall is Professor of Clinical Psychiatry in the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University. He is the author of Emotional Safety: Viewing Couples Through the Lens of Affect (Routledge, 2007).

To learn more about Dr. Catherall’s philosophy of emotional safety, visit his website at http://www.emotionalsafety.net/

CHARLES GABY

Starting at the End:
Affect in the Aftermath of a Relationship

Date of Presentation: Saturday October 16th
at 1:45 pm
Length of Presentation: 2 hour

Presentation Description: This is a workshop for therapists, couples and single adults who want to learn from those who have lost relationships. It is an exploration of a few common issues encountered by therapists working with individuals and couples in the divorce process. We will look at the challenges posed to traditional scripts as our marital expectations have shifted in the areas of sex, honesty, equality and individual fulfillment. The presentation includes how marriages often end, the complicated affects/scripts involved, alternatives to traditional conflict resolution strategies, what produces violence, the shame complications to grief, self esteem issues and avoiding bitterness.

A Brief Bio of the Presenter: Charles Gaby, MA, LPC has 20 years of experience working with couples and individuals in facing marital crisis and his seminars for engaged couples, married couples and divorce have been attended by thousands of people. He directs the Center for Creative Transformation at First United Methodist Church of Fort Worth. He is also the director of the Institute for Restorative Community which introduces ASP and Restorative Practices in schools, churches and the juvenile justice system. Charles serves on the board of the Tomkins Institute.

To learn more about Charles Gaby, visit his website at http://www.charlesgaby.com/

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